Tuesday, January 24, 2006

There are a million and one people whom you would call friends.

To me many are acquaintances, whom you hardly see more than 5 times in a year... and then there are those who used to be close friends, that drifted away because of their new job, new statuses (got married and need to spend time with hubby, in-laws and own family - no need and no time for us friends).

So who do you call friends really ?

Just the other day, I saw this really naive and i think stupid quotation it says.. "you are judged by the quantity and quality of friends you have" If that is how one is judged, then i guess whoever is judging is having a false sense of security, and a really superficial way towards life.

I can call the bangala that cleans up my corridor every morning as a friend, because i see him more than 5 times a year and he always greet me good morning and i always return the greeting to him.

I can also call the groomer that grooms my dogs a friend because i groom my dogs at least 3 times a year and both at different times (for those who dont get it, it means.. i get to see at least her 6 times a year at least)

I can also call the cashier in NTUC friend because i got craving for junk food this week and i have been visiting NTUC almost everyday.

So you get the drift that I have a million friends and not counting those penpals i have all across the globe.. so what does that make me? More superior than you?

I wonder if by the quantity of friends this person makes via the internet how many can really stand by the test of time. How many would actually help you when u are in need?

I do not demand my friends to tell me EVERY SINGLE DETAIL of their life, for instance.. how many times u have been shagged by your husband last night.. how many ex-bfs you have had, how many gay partners you have scored - i dont think these are important. But if you choose to tell me, I would listen and not blabber off to the next person i see.

whether or not your friend chooses to tell you things or not it is their right .. not yours. And if your friend chooses not to tell you some things that you eventually find out, it doesn't mean that they have lied, they are just withholding some information from you.

And when that happens, you have to examine yourself and ask why did that person not tell you such things? Is it because they dont deem you worthy(trustworthy) of the information?

for instance, it once happened to me that a friend of mine have been sleeping around, with strangers and I did not know that until i came upon it by accident. So why did she not tell me? Because she knows i dont approve and feels strongly about it therefore would embark on a tirade if i knew.

So what is quality of friends?

Let me tell you a profile of a person 30 years old soon, spent money studying overseas but never got to complete it. been a loafer since coming back to Sg, in absolute denial that he's been loafing and sponging off the parents. Having basically niche credentials, he thinks $1400 is too little to be paying him to get his butt off his cushy chair and go work. Till today, he has nothing to his name, not even a year of working experience. regrettably, he has no gf/bf till today but is that a surprise?

so tell me if this person is worthy to be called your friend anot ?
Is there any positive/redeeming quality in him?

Now is he paid an hourly rate working at his dream job (events job) - not an impressive hourly rate because he has got no experience (and if I hadnt wasted my breath persuading the boss to give you an hourly rate, you would be working your ass off with just 50$ per day!)

Whether or not, he can make it as a full time staff, only time and his work attitude will tell. But the other day he was grousing (as always full of grouse) that he has been made to do so many proposals .. if you dont like the job, quit it. Dont drag my name down the mud because i was the referrer.

I am not at all holy, neither can i withhold my anger very well, but I think if there come a day I am indeed judged by what I have done for people whom i called friends (worthy or not I dont know)then I can safely say that I have done whatever is within my capabilities of a friend on a clear conscience.